


we say a lot of things like I love you

by youngerdrgrey



Category: Queen Sugar (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, prompted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 14:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11876277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: she’s the one who started the fight tonight. she’s the one who corrected the waiter who called her his wife and said, “Not that Charley Bordelon-Newell doesn’t sound amazing, I just don’t know if I want to do that again.”his eyes had frozen, pupils forcibly in place while the muscles in his cheek flexed. he’d blinked eventually, but even that came off disappointed.prompted.





	we say a lot of things like I love you

**Author's Note:**

> prompts for this at the bottom. thanks to the anons who send me prompts and requests. thanks to everyone who's been patient and welcoming and thoughtful. y'all make writing for these amazing characters so much better, and I appreciate you for being here.

 

first time she got to a restaurant before him, all she could think about was standing him up on their first date. him, outside Vi’s, looking fine with some flowers in his hand, and her, on the other side of town, conniving with Lena.

but she gets used to it. they’re both busy, usually meeting up from wherever they’ve been, and she might be a workaholic, but at least she makes her own hours so she tends to beat him to their dates.

eventually, Charley starts sliding into booths without a second thought. she shifts her phone from her hand so it’s propped against her shoulder. says, “I hear you, Rah, just–one second.” She smiles over at the server. “I’m sorry, my partner’s still out. He got caught up in office hours. Just two specials for us, one with the egg over medium, runny’s fine for the other. Can we get an extra side of bacon and one coffee, one tea. Extra honey please, and the vanilla creamer, if you have it today.”

She smiles at Michelle a second time before going back to her phone.

Ralph Angel chuckles. “Partner, huh?”

**+**

 

normally, his hand’s on hers the second they’re out the parking lot. windows up, AC blaring, and the thrum of the car beneath them, but tonight, he could split his knuckles with how tight he chokes the wheel. his teeth grind loud enough that he turns on the music, and she watches the seconds on the song tick up. the rain beats at the windows. the road’ll probably be flooded by morning, so she shouldn’t jog tomorrow. jogging by the barracks doesn’t work as well anyway, so it’s fine. and after this fight, she’ll definitely be back home tonight.

not that she doesn’t like being home. she has her own place for a reason. Micah has a room there. she has most of her clothes there. she’s just gotten used to spending their nights together at his place, where the floorboards creak in greeting and the nightstand has her extra phone charger.

but she’s the one who started the fight tonight. she’s the one who corrected the waiter who called her his wife and said, “Not that Charley Bordelon-Newell doesn’t sound amazing, I just don’t know if I want to do that again.”

his eyes had frozen, pupils forcibly in place while the muscles in his cheek flexed. he’d blinked eventually, but even that came off disappointed. hurt even.

now he drives without looking her way, and she rubs her palms against each other. because she’s not wrong not to want to do that again. she’s not wrong for wanting to just enjoy the relationship without it having to become a marriage. Vi and Hollywood are the strongest, most stable relationship she knows, and they’re not married, so why do she and Remy have to be?

she can’t marry someone just because they want to marry her. she can’t become someone’s everything again only to find out that it’s just another word to them. just another contract worthy of breaching for a better deal somewhere else.

the light in front of them turns yellow. windshield wipers swish, and the song ends without fading into the next one. she’d never expected that Davis would hurt her like that, so she can’t know for sure that Remy won’t either. she can’t let herself be left again.

but she also really doesn’t want to go home alone. she only has the back up toothpaste at the barracks since Micah’s been with Davis for over a week now. she doesn’t even know if the creamer in her fridge is still good. it was for the seventeenth last she checked, and it’s at least the twenty-third, and if she goes home after a fight like this, if there’s no bridging a gap like this, then what have they been doing all this time? what does she have when the person she fought to be with isn’t the person she gets to stay with?

he eases up so they stop before the red light. his grip lightens enough that it’s almost like normal. when he drops the wheel and scoops up her hand instead.

so she puts her hand out there. fingers up and splayed, blood pumping loud enough that she can feel the pulse through each finger. and if she stares at her ring finger a little longer than the others, well, it’s just the subject of the night. just because he’s mad that she doesn’t want to marry him and she’s upset that he wants to marry her and they keep finding out that their differences might be stronger than any of the similarities that brought them together in the first place. her fingers jump, and she sighs. lets her eyes drop and flips her hand back over.

but the next song starts. and he slips his hand off the wheel and takes hers. his nostrils flare, but he doesn’t let go, and she shifts so their fingers can lock up again.

his throat croaks when he goes to talk. vocal chords still tight from clenching up. “Where to?”

“I would say your place or mine, but I don’t want to go home without you.”

he nods like that tells him all he needs to know. she only sees the green of the light as it reflects back in his eyes.

“My place it is.”

 

**+**

 

she’s gone by morning, but the coffee’s still hot in the french press when he wakes up. one of his grocery list slips pokes out from the mug next to it.

_I’m not closed to the idea_ , he reads.  _Lunch?_

but he’s got more meetings with collective members scheduled for his free hours today. so he writes under the note (  _how about dinner instead? )_  and snaps it to her.

she replies with a snap, already in her chair at the office.  _Too much to do here to be out all night again._

he doesn’t bother taking a picture, replying in the chat,  _I could drop by._ then, to keep it light, he adds,  _meals beat mills_.

her next snap’s just her laughing, eyes bright, teeth shining. “You’re stupid.” she’s always said it like I love you.

he takes a video back. lifts the camera up to hit the angles she’s been talking about. “I’ll come by once I’m done for the day.” he hits send and pours himself a cup of the coffee. adds another message,  _glad you’re not closed to it._

**+**

 

nights at her office always work out better than nights at his. her office sort of echoes. it’s got a bit of a warmth to it, but it’s like the bittersweet way they got together has stained the walls.

but his office? with the desks at just the perfect height for her to prop on top of?

she sucks her teeth when he suggests working out of there. says, “You know how you get.”

he plays innocent. says he just wants to work where his students could reach him if they needed anything. plus, all his designs are there. pretty much everything he needs to get her in there.

but they’re not there more than a few minutes before he starts leaning back in his chair. eyes hooded, lips slightly parted.

she rolls her eyes. “You’re not even gonna pretend you want to work?”

he points out, “You haven’t taken out your laptop.”

“So you can push it aside like last time?”

he has the decency to act like he’s sorry. while he lifts himself out the chair with two perfectly flexed arms and his head ducked down so his eyes blink straight up to hers. but once he stands to his full height, he towers over her, practically chest to chest, and he licks his lips just to watch her eyes follow his trail.

“Want me to apologize?”

fuck this guy.

(but also, fuck this guy.)

 

**+**

 

the whole family gets obsessed with the thought of babies. marriage isn’t a thing they talk about anymore, but kids have never been off the table.

he wants two more, he tells her. he thinks kids work well in threes so there’s always a bit of a balance there. nobody can clearly say that anybody else has more power or had it better.

being one of three, she snorts at the reasoning. but she wouldn’t mind doing it again, at least once.

“Not twice?”

she pecks him instead of answering. “Let’s try this one first, okay?”

 

**+**

 

she apologizes with soft kisses and takes months before the words start to come. she’s sorry for standing him up, or using up all the hot water, or the time she tells Nova about maybe being pregnant before she even thinks about telling him. but mostly, she’s sorry she’s not easier to love.

for his part, he’s sorry that he doesn’t always show how easy loving her actually is for him. he’s sorry that he speaks just as quick as she does but rarely takes anything back. and he’s sorry that he always seems to want more than she’s ready for.

but patience helps. and they get better at finding the words.

 

**+**

 

“Char.”

“Nope.”

“Charley.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“Charley, come on.”

“Saying my name’s not gonna change anything.”

he nudges her, forehead to forehead. “Please, Charley.”

“Fine.” she switches her phone to airplane mode. “We’ll tell him, but I don’t want to get his hopes up when there’s nothing real to say.”

“You’d rather surprise him when he gets back to see a nursery where his room used to be?”

“I’m not pregnant. And there’s not going to be a nursery at the barracks. I’m moving in before we get to that point.”

he hums. “Are you now?”

she hums. “I am. And we’ll fix up that swing on your back porch--”

“The swing’s great, it’s just--”

“Not built for two?”

“It’s built for two, just not the way we tried to use it.”

she rolls her eyes. he catches her lips before she can get annoyed with him again.

she groans against his lips. “Fine. I will tell Micah tonight.”

“Thank you.”

 

**+**

 

Micah rolls his eyes at the both of them. flat out, honest to God, rolls his eyes hard enough that his eyes just go white. “You had me come over here for this? Mom, I’m not stupid, okay, I knew you’d want to have more kids.”

“Really?” she hadn’t even known for sure she wanted to have more kids.

he shrugs. “I mean, you love me, and you didn’t mess me up too bad so--” he ducks the hand she shoves for his head “--I figured you’d want to do it again. and I mean, you love Remy so.”

she smiles and grabs his arms to pull him into a hug. he groans into it. even tries rolling out of her reach, but he holds her tight once he’s done acting tough.

“I love you, you know that?”

Micah nods into her shoulder. well, above her shoulder. seriously, when did he get so tall?

“He loves you too. He’s not like....” she can practically feel Micah’s internal  _fuck it_  before he finishes. “He’s not like Dad. I think it’d be good for you.”

she couldn’t work as hard. would need to eat better. might wind up spending extra time with her therapist to make sure she doesn’t sabotage everything. but she’d also get more time with Remy. more nights in their bed with their future clear in front of them. and Nova’s more than ready to cleanse and heal that house of his and have another nephew to spoil. or niece. with soft curls like Charley’s and kind eyes like Remy’s.

Micah snaps in her face. “Earth to Mom.”

“I’m here. I’m here.”

 

she texts Remy that night, while Micah’s pretending not to be texting Keke.

> **charley:**  He seems happy
> 
> **remy:**  He’s a good kid. Why wouldn’t he be?
> 
> **charley:**  I know, I guess I just didn’t want him to feel weird about it.
> 
> **remy:**  He’ll tell us if he does. He’s not exactly shy about his feelings, Charley.  
>  **remy:**  Not like you
> 
> **charley:**  When have I ever been shy?
> 
> **remy:**  With us  
>  **remy:**  Shy to start, shy to say you wanted this
> 
> **charley:**  I said I love you first
> 
> **remy:**  You said you love this. I said I love you first
> 
> **charley:**  I said “I love this. Being here, with you.”
> 
> **remy:**  That’s not I love you, Charley.

“Micah, if I said, ‘I love this. Being here, with you.’ That’s saying ‘I love you,’ right?”

“I mean, kinda. It’s not the exact words though.”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

“But then saying, ‘pick up your clothes’ could be ‘I love you’ if it’s just the thought that counts.”

she huffs. “Watch the TV.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

 

> **charley:**  fine, you said it first.
> 
> **remy:**  I know
> 
> **charley:**  but I made the first move
> 
> **remy:**  ehhhh

**+**

 

she toes her shoes off in the doorway at Violet’s. Remy clicks his tongue as he crosses the room to her. his eyes sear along her dress, and his fingers unfurl like they’re ready to follow.

“You know how I feel about this dress.”

she ducks her head behind her hair so he can’t see her smile. can’t catch the way her chest hitches at the bass in his voice. his hand catches her hip though.

“Hello to you too.”

“Last time you wore this,” he pulls her to him. she sinks back against his chest, his breath hot at her ear, “we barely made it past the door. Gave the workers a show.” because somebody barely has any self-control. she can hold herself tight, can keep herself together, especially since she can hear Violet talking in the next room over. but him?

“You really want to do this?” it’s a warning, but it comes off more like an invitation.

“Think they’d notice?”

nobody knows she’s here yet. with the music on, with the game going, nobody’s paying much attention yet. they could slip back out to the car, just--

“Remy! Who’s at the door?”

just nothing.

“Charley!” he calls out at the same time as she says, “Me, Aunt Vi!”

she slips out of his hold. starts for the living room, but he catches her hand this time to stop her.

his voice comes out different -- still full of bass, but more like his serious one. like he’s been ruminating and waiting for the right moment to say something.

“Sun porch, twenty minutes. Okay?”

her heart starts in her chest. her breath snags. “Following up on your offer?”

he shakes his head though. “Twenty minutes.” then he walks off, leaves her with nothing but that empty doorframe and a promise of something more.

 

**+**

for some reason, Nova takes the rest of the family out back twenty minutes later. Rah and her want to show off some changes they made to True North, and Remy’s nowhere to be found. Micah won’t meet her eye, but he also went for ‘a walk’ with Nova earlier so he probably just doesn’t want to get caught high in front of his mom.

Charley pads along the house to get to the sun porch. the first time she ever gave in to Remy was on that porch. first time she accepted that she needed to let go and start over. first time she slid into his open arms and knew that this could really be something.

his lips pull a little too thin when he tries to smile at her. his breaths seem to get lost somewhere in the depths of his chest. he says her name, and he clears his throat right after.

she hasn’t put on chapstick in a while. she blinks at the thought. furrows her brow at it too. her lips are dry, and she hasn’t put on chapstick, and he watches her like he’s watching the whole of the universe fold into itself in front of him. he watches her like she’s begging him to love her all over again, like he’s been waiting for this moment forever.

“You and me, we haven’t always done great with putting our feelings into words. I think that, I know I put it best when I said that you were the first woman I wanted to know in years. And Charley,” he swallows so thick that she thinks they must have matching lumps in their throats, must have matching tears in their eyes, and his hands shake when they come up for hers. “Baby, you are the last woman I ever want to know. You are it. And these feelings aren’t done with me yet. And I don’t want a promise. I don’t want you to have my name. I don’t want this for any other reason than to be able to call you my wife. To not say partner like the business is the basis for who we are to each other. You said, the one thing we can control is our own story, and I want this to be a part of ours.”

her lips might crack if she says anything. and she can’t -- she can’t stop blinking because the blinking keeps the tears from taking over her vision and blocking him out entirely. and the whole family’s definitely not looking at a boat, are they?

“Charley, will you marry me?”

 

**+**

it’s never easy between them.

the wedding doesn’t change that. the baby doesn’t change that.

the biggest threat to Charley and Remy will always be their pride. their need to be right and be everything for everybody all at once. but he holds her hand in the car even when he can’t look at her, and she says she’s sorry even when she can’t face being wrong, and sometimes, most times, that’s all it takes to really make it work.

 

**+**

Remy shushes their baby while pushing the menus over to Michelle. “Sorry, she’ll stop crying once she sees her mom.”

“Wife’s running late?”

and the baby’s cries get louder at that. “Yeah, just two specials. One egg over medium, runny for the other. Coffee, tea. Extra honey, and if you could just bring some ice cubes to run over her gums.”

“Charley’s or the little one’s?”

“Cute.”

“Just takin’ after y’all.”

he nods, smiles. “You know, we met at this diner. Me and my wife.”

“And you still drink the coffee? Even after tasting it?”

“Nothing a little sugar can’t fix.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, what y'all think about this? It was a bunch of a headcanons that turned into full moments that sort of melded into this. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> **prompts:**  
>  an anon wanted Charley and Remy having a kid together  
> \+ another anon sent a whole bunch of headcanon requests -- 1. who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? 2. who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving? 3. who leaves little notes in the other’s lunch? (bonus: what does it say?) 4. who initiates sex? 5. who wants kids? how many? 6. who apologizes first? 7. pet names or nicknames? 8. who says "I love you" first? 9. who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear? 10. who proposes? 11. biggest potential threat to their relationship?


End file.
